Go Green(s)!

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Citrus Collards With RaisinsDid you know greens are practically FREE?? I would have been eating greens years ago if anyone had told me how much money they would save me on my weekly grocery bill. This past week we spent $65 at Wal-Mart on groceries and maybe another $18 at Earth Fare. And our fridge is PACKED with food. (FYI for those not in the know: Greens are the big dark leafy things you pass in the produce aisle on your way to the cookies.)

After years of retching and gagging at the mere mention of things like "collards" and "chard," I actually tried some. Guess what? Delish! That is, if you bypass the good ol' southern method of boiling the hell out of them. (I'll never forget the first time I ate gray-green mush at my mother-in-law's home. Blair had to explain to me that the food was--in a previous life--broccoli.) I wish someone had told her a quick 3-5 minute simmer and wilt does the trick. 

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Earth Fare Sneezing Massacre

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So yesterday afternoon I'm in the high-end, whole foods, granola-lovin' grocery store Earth Fare. It is my desire to one day be able to afford to do all my shopping at Earth Fare instead of buying the occasional Madjool Date or sprouted organic frozen tortillas. But for the moment, I pop in once a week to buy that which is unavailable in more traditional markets. 

I'm roaming the bin aisle in search of nutritional yeast flakes when I feel a sneeze coming on. The aisle is semi-crowded with an Earth Fare worker loading shelves, a family of three at one end, and several single shoppers dipping into nearby bins. 

Wanting to be polite, as I know I'll soon be using my hands to grasp the bin shovels, I turn my face and lower my nose and mouth into my left shoulder/upper arm and give a delicate ah-choo. 

Only it didn't come out as delicate ah-choo. Instead, it came out more like a ahhh-PLBBBTTH complete with flying saliva and mucus. 

Yeah, just one of those moments you want to treasure forever. And yes, I pretty much high-tailed it straight out of there. 

Cheers,

Dena