Smug Marrieds: The "I Love You" Chicken

Before Blair left for work yesterday, he walked into my office and gave me a kiss good-bye.

"Love you," he said. 

"I love you, too." 

He walked outside, got in his car and drove away. Three minutes later my phone rings. I see it's Blair. I pick up. "Hello?"

"I love you." 

"Aw, that's so sweet," I say, touched. 

"And the Earth Fare coupon for a free whole chicken is sitting on my printer upstairs."

"Aaaugh, you ruined it!" I said, laughing. "You didn't call to say you loved me! You called about chicken."

"No! I called because I was thinking about you and wanted to tell you I love you." He paused and then added sheepishly, "But, you know... I mean, it is a free chicken."

My next book is going to be on the different stages of romance in a marriage and how the hot passion of the early years somehow folds itself over into, "I love you--and don't forget the chicken," without you ever really noticing.

It's all good though.

Chicken and love are two of my favorite things in life. 

Cheers,

Dena

Smug Marrieds: Dinner Conversation

As we're sitting at the table last night, eating dinner, I feel a tickle around the back of my neck. I reach up to scratch my neck and knock a small black bug onto my shoulder. Startled, I slap at the bug and manage to knock it down once again. Right...down...my...bra. 

Screeching, I stand up and start digging around inside my bra, searching for the bug. When I finally find it, I fling it to the floor. 

Blair, meanwhile, has been sitting calmly across the table from me, chewing his food. Once I sit back down he smirks then says, "Lord, woman. If you want some attention you don't need to just whip it out like that. All you have to do is ask." 

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

Cheers,

Dena