Whatever the Lesson Is, I Don't Want to Learn It

It's been a rough couple of days here in DenaLand. On Thursday, during the last 10 minutes of what had been an enjoyable yoga class, something snapped in my lower back. We were sitting on the floor in a simple head to knee pose when I felt the give. 

The pain was so severe and immediate I gave an involuntary yelp. 

"Uh-oh," said my instructor, reading the pain in my face. 

I managed to hobble down the stairs and back home where I immediately began a treatment of ice and ibuprofen.  But the pain got worse instead of better. An hour spent in our neighbor's pool seemed to help but by the end of the night, I was barely able to stand upright. 

Naturally, my thoughts turned to my training, which has been spot on to this point. "Please, please, please," I begged my body, "Don't do this. Don't throw away all this hard work. Don't fall behind schedule. Heal, heal, heal...."

Blair didn't help. I was moping over my food at dinner, near tears, determined to be depressed. 

"What if this doesn't just go away?" I fretted. "I was supposed to do my first 20 mile run this weekend."

"Yes, but there are worse things," said Blair, calmly eating a bite of salad. 

I shot him a warning look. "This training is important to me."

He shrugged. "I know it is. But I'm just saying to keep things in perspective. There are a lot worse things that could happen in life then a strained muscle."

Of course he's right. And of course I wanted no part of it. I glared at him and ate the rest of my meal in silence then stomped away from the table. (I'd like to blame the pain for my childish behavior but I think we all know better.)

I AM trying to keep perspective but I am also freaking out. I missed Thursday night's run, I'm not running this weekend, and I've cancelled my session with my trainer for Monday. I know it's in my mind but I swear I can feel my body growing weaker in the 48-hours I've been without exercise. It's taken 39 years but I've finally evolved to the point where I enjoy exercise. I look forward to it. It's a large part of who I am. I'm sure there is some larger life lesson to be learned here but given the choice, I'd prefer to ignore it. Just give me back my strength, please.

The back is better. It stiffens quickly if I stay in any one position too long. I'm doing a lot of slow, easy stretches and had a great massage yesterday from Joel Tull. I may try walking on the treadmill later today. Movement is supposed to be good to keep the muscles limber. 

I'm just praying I'm back up to speed by Monday.  Type A that I am, I'm all about sticking with the plan and the fact that I'm missing workouts is sending my mind and emotions into a tizzy. 

If you have a moment, please send healing thoughts my way... =)

Dena