Countdown to Chicago Marathon...

11 days 22 hours 39 minutes 54 seconds...

I start most mornings by pulling up the official Chicago Marathon website and watching the online clock tick-tick-tick down the minutes and seconds until race day. It's almost surreal. My friend Neal, who is also running the marathon, has had the clock on his desktop since day 336. In a phone call to me the other day he said, "I'm FREAKING OUT watching this thing move closer to single digits."

I'm in my taper, which means cutting back on intensity and mileage. Some runners enjoy the taper and the break that come with it, but most dread it. I'm in the dread group. Even though logically we know that the taper is necessary for the body to recoup and repair and be ready for race day, what's going through our minds is, "I'm losing strength. I'm losing speed. It's been 3 weeks since I've done a long, hard run and my body has forgotten how. I'm not ready, I'm weak, I'm doomed..."

11 days 22 hours 33 minutes and 37 seconds...

Reading another runner's blog the other day (No Meat Athlete - love him! Check it out.), he expressed my fears perfectly. The fear is this: The runner I am today is the runner who is going to be there on race day. There is no more training. There is no more "I still have 6 weeks to improve." There are no more long runs. The person I am right this second is the person who is going to run Chicago and, frankly, that scares the crap out of me. I guess I was hoping someone stronger, faster, with a whole lot more confidence would sneak in and replace the real me.

Don't get me wrong. I'm excited. Nervous, stomach-rumbling, jumping up and down let's do this excited. I have some goals I'm trying to meet and am REALLY hoping I can pull them off. My concern, though, is that I'll choke on race day. It's happened in my last 2 marathons - the strength was there but I've just mentally folded. And it IS mental. If you tell me tomorrow I have to go out and run 26.2 miles I would set my cap and think, "Okay. One mile at a time and we'll get this done," and I'd probably turn in a great time. But put me in a "This is when it really counts situation" and I just freak out. I'm not sure how to overcame that.

But I do know I have 11 days 22 hours 23 minutes and 26 seconds to figure it out...