Fish for Christmas?

Blair and I are sitting at the table, eating, the other night. The cats are milling around our ankles. Blair leans over the edge of the table to look at them, looks at me, looks at them, then raises a conspiratorial eyebrow. He mouths the words, "I'm thinking of getting them an aquarium for Christmas." He nods significantly.

I look back at him. "Do you mean F-I-S-H?" I ask. He grins.

Who says having cats isn't like having kids?

Yes, we are back on the fish kick. For those of you who missed exciting round one of our fish drama, click here. Although we appreciate the input, we have decided that those of you who have had fish have absolutely no idea what you're talking about while we--who have never owned so much as a tadpole--know a great deal more than you because we have visited some sites on the internet. So there.

Blair, however, is determined we won't rush in and get excited and buy just anything and he is--and I say this with nothing but love in my heart--driving me freakin' crazy.

He is insisting I visit Aquamain today in Greensboro. Never mind that he was just there yesterday.

"I don't understand. Why do I have to go too?" I asked.

"Because that way you can look at what I've been looking at and see if you agree or disagree with what I think would work."

"Why can't I just do that when we visit the place together to buy the stuff?" There is the smallest hint of whine in my voice.

Blair looks crestfallen. "You don't want to go see the fish?"

Why does he have to be so cute? Because truth be told, no, I don't want to visit the fish. Like everything else I crave in life, I want the tank to magically appear, be set up, filled, and activated with little to no effort on my part. We've been together 15 years. Why is this part of my personality so difficult to understand?

But he has worked his Blair magic on me, so off I go today to interrogate some unsuspecting fishman who has no idea, has he hauls himself out of bed this morning, what client nightmare will show up at 3pm.

Okay. That part is kinda fun....

Will No One Speak For the Fish?

Poor fishie. Since I posted the prior blog entry on our decision to get fish, I have been bombarded by family and friends advising me against it.

My mother called to ask if I remembered the time when I was five and we arrived home to find our cat, Big Hairy, had flipped our fish out of the tank and left them to die on the living room carpet.

My "best friend" Trisha called to remind me of the horrible "Jean-Luc / Mr. Bean" pug fiasco, where we thought we were ready for dogs, brought 2 pug puppies home and gave them back within 5 days because they were destroying my sanity and all I could do was cry. (I was in my 20's and a perfectionist and the dogs were messin' with that - so sue me).

And then my dear friend Bernie, a mentor in so many areas of my life, posts a blog about catfish nightmares and nasty tanks that haunts her to this day.

I ask you people--will  no one speak on behalf of the fish? Is there not one among you who will stand apart and declare their love for the creatures of God's sea or--as at Aquamain world--the creatures of Tank #141?  

Surely there is one among you willing not to cast the first stone. Willing in fact, to stand up and say, "I (insert name), I love the fish!" 

I, and the fish, are waiting... 

Gone Fishin'

We are getting fish.

Thank you for sharing our great excitement. We've talked about fish for years and have decided that finally, after 12 years of marriage, we are deeply committed enough to one another to withstand the potential trauma and screaming fits involved in selecting, buying, and caring for fish.

Our interest in fish stemmed from (where else?) the cats. We felt the cats were growing bored within the confines of the house and that watching colorful fish with their zigzag movements might provide hours of entertainment that didn't involve us having to wave around a wand with dangling feathers or catnip balls of any sort. Nothing gets me excited like a win-win scenario.

So on Saturday, we drove to Aquamain's Fish World in Greensboro.  We discussed strategy along the way.

"Listen," said Blair. "Don't say anything about us wanting to get fish for our cats."

"Why not?" I asked. "It's not like we're going to feed the fish to the cats."

"I just think that would start us out on the wrong foot," said Blair. "These people really like fish."

"Fine, fine. I won't bring up the cats," I said. "But whatever happened to 'the customer is always right?'"

"That's for people who don't appear initially insane," said Blair.

So we entered Aquamain's Fish World and were immediately struck by the thick, musty, fishy smell places such as these carry. "I'm sure our home will smell nothing like this when we get fish," I said. Blair nodded.

We were pretty set on a freshwater tank as we'd heard saltwater tanks were work to maintain and the fish less hardy. However, the very helpful salesperson serving us pointed out that with today's technology, saltwater tanks aren't substantially harder then freshwater to take care of. Both need 1/4 to 1/2 of their water changed once a month and saltwater requires you mix the salt into the replacement water before adding it to the tank.

 Saltwater fish are so much bigger and brighter than freshwater fish. Now that I know saltwater is within our grasp, I have made it my life's goal to own a puffer fish (Just look at the photo.  The fish is smiling .

I must have a smiling fish).  

Our idea was to start small. Get a small tank with 3 fish and see if we could make it a week without the option of fresh sushi presenting itself in the form of a belly-up Angelfish.

But small is apparently no good. Our salesperson advised to go as large a tank as we can within our budget. Something about larger tanks creating a more stable environment. Whatever. All I know is we suddenly started eyeing 65-gallon tanks with their own stands that combined are bigger than the entertainment  center that houses our TV.

We've decided to take it slow, meaning we'll give it a week--two, tops--before we rush in and make poor buying decisions. Meanwhile, if any of you reading this have any knowledge of the world of fish and freshwater vs. saltwater tanks, now is the time to weigh in with your opinion. Do not tell me I made the wrong decision after we purchase our tank or you will awake one morning with Angelfish sushi on your doorstep.

Fish. The family pet. Stay tuned for exciting developments...