Cat Talk: How to Keep Your Owner Happy

Notes From A Cat: How to Keep Your Owner Happy

Copyright 2005, Dena Harris

  1. Resist the urge to show them your backside every time they enter a room
  2. Remind yourself the suitcase is not for peeing in
  3. Hop in their laps while they're watching TV and start purring. Humans need to be reminded real life is more interesting than sit-coms
  4. Do not jump from behind closed doors to attack the dog (or at least limit yourself to no more than twice a day)
  5. Twine yourself between your owner's legs no matter what they're doing.  Bonus points apply if they're carrying something heavy
  6. Allow them to think it's their idea that all the comfy chairs in the house are reserved for you
  7. Rub your head on all available surfaces to mark what's yours.  Owners will appreciate this clear delineation of who owns what.
  8. Every once in a while, allow them to pet your belly.  It feeds their soul.
  9. Sleep with them at night. They feel safer knowing you're nearby.
  10. Insist on being groomed at least twice daily. It's good for your owners blood pressure and overall health.